That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
i just sent this text using only my big toe
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Randomize
