totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
Randomize
