Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
