Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
So here I am, sexting at work.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
