i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
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