you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Randomize
