when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
