In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Randomize
