At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
i dont even know how to be here
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
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