Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
