why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Randomize
