No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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