oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Randomize
