just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize