problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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