He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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