We need to start having sex underwater more often.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize