Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
