I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize