Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
