why didn't you poke me back
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Randomize
