Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Randomize
