i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize