why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I believe in your delicious
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize
