You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
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