Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Randomize
