Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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