Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize
