Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Why did my mother make you get naked?
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
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