I looked at my own cervix.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Randomize
