tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Randomize
