That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Randomize
