whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Randomize
