your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
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