i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
babies were throwing up all over the place
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
I'm at about main and main street
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
Is that strawberry winking at me??
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
