we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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