This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
Swine flu is the new snow day.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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