Whoa Z and x make the same sound
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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