K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
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