READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
That's when you crack a 10am beer
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
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