Pregnant stripper...not hot.
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
