He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
