they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Randomize
