is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Randomize
