Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
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