I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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