i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize