I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
