sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
i would punch a child for taco bell
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Randomize
