dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Randomize
