apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Randomize
