Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
Randomize
