She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Randomize
