My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Randomize
