so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Randomize
