Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
Randomize
