I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Randomize
