hotel room ftw
If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Randomize