Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Randomize
