Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Randomize
