There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
Randomize
