that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
