Porn is love you can see.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Randomize
