Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
