M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
Randomize
