I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
I have surprise drugs for everyone
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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