I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
